Muni is rad

kid is smart

Yes, I am urban.  I live in an international city.  My kids are riding Muni and BART.  We get around and take in the sights.  We give smiles and whisk briskly on the hilly streets; pushing through wind or moving along in its currents.

Yea! I love Met West

 

Huerta Hall at MetWest

 

 

Walked into the school’s Personal Development meeting after getting my messages and finding out it was going on only an hour earlier.  The teachers and principal are amazing.  Great meeting, great vibe.  These educators love what they do and they are dedicated to their students.  I love it here!

Looking for a place in The City

 

My New Place!

I am finally and officially on the market for a new place.

 

Any and all prayers good wishing and vibes are appreciated. I have an appointment tomorrow and Saturday for viewing. Both places are Edwardian flats in the Richmond.

Okay, so those two paragraphs were originally written a month or so ago… So much has changed!!!

I thought I could just “find” a place… easy; like the way it is most places in the world.  But, I was looking in the most desirable area to live in the country.  It was a whole new ball game. Here’s how it went: Get up early; look up craigslist for rentals in my range and neighborhood; print and keep print out in a file or write down each possibility in notebook; call or email them; log all info gathered (are they showing it at a specific time or did I book an appt.?); write down a “calendar” in my moleskin notepad with the specific time I am meeting each place; take notes on each place that I see; then hope for the best!

It took me at least a month, and one serious dedicated week to finally get a yes.  This was more of an interview process… I had to show up with all your documents (proof of income, credit report, and a cover letter) and look relaxed (even though I was running around town shaking hands and giving them my docs). It’s so incredibly competitive. These past two days I meditated, prayed, and asked all my friends to do the same. I think St. Anthony was a key player, he found me my home we lost. Getting the news that I got a place was like getting news that I won the LOTTO.

So, now… I need to move in: Sometime between the 15th and 21st (they are installing new windows). Then I will update you on the place. It is so amazing!!! Pictures to come soon! Promise.  I will let you know when the housewarming is too. 

Self Evaluation at OTF

Difficulties and challenges have given me an opportunity to learn a lot about my short-comings. Obvious right? But it’s tough. It’s tough to come to these realizations. My default mode has been to sport the rosy colored glasses, smile, and hope for the best. I don’t want that route. I want to be positive, but I want to go in for the over-haul.

Let’s open it up and expose the areas that are broken and faulty. This week, I have come home from training exhausted but fully contented knowing I am being forever changed. I worked the daily grind and pushed through. But I lost my heart after my divorce. I did the best for my kids and pressed on; but I lost a piece of me when I lost the normal family life of being a full time Mom and my one year as a teacher.

We are being trained and tested. And when I come home I sit down and self-evaluate. I realize I have some areas to improve. That’s okay. I’m ready. I have my passion again. I have my drive.

Being a mother is rewarding; But I was dragging at the previous day job and I came home to my kids defeated and exhausted. Teaching will challenge me. I will have days of exhaustion. I will also have days of  success and satisfaction. I will use those lessons learned to improve my relationship with my kids.

In order to be successful at teaching or at home, I need to be: organized with my time and my responsibilities; prepared for the challenges and obstacles (plan B); and have a positive attitude.  Just in the few weeks while I taught summer school, I found it easy to have a positive attitude because I was so glad I was there teaching.  I have waited for this for so long… and I am so very happy to be in my shoes.

low point

Summits.  I long to reach one.  There are times when I feel I have made it over a hill, or even at a platteau.  But my God!  the dips and dives are much too thrilling for my taste.  

It goes like this:  thrill of the idea, jump in, move, move faster, the wind presses against my face and tears run down…  stomach? its lost and inside in the wrong place, breathing is strained, my mind thinks only of the end.

So I’m about to finish this ride.  Institute is almost over.

Today I came to the end of a big dip.  I think I lost my mind after hearing misogynistic conversation.  I was paralyzed by it.  It wasn’t my turn teaching, so I didn’t have the reigns, but I didn’t want them either.  The students were wild. 

And what did I have for them?  Nothing that could compare to that topic.  Not as interesting or involved.  I had test preparation.  They need to be ready for the CAHSEE test and I wanted to share the tips and go through the review to help them.  I wasn’t very effective.  To top it off, it was my turn to be observed.  The observation “grade sheet” wasn’t as scary as I had anticipated.  It was spot on though.  I need to be must more diligent in preparing for any situation.  I need a solid plan.  

So, what’s my take away lesson for the day?  Just the same as it was suppose to be for the students… biggest obstacle in any test is the test taker.  Doubt can disable and defeat us.  I need to be prepared and organized.  I definitely can’t allow the hard questions deflate my overall desire to pass the test.

Let’s see how I do.

Third Day of Teaching

We have been in the classroom for five days here at Fremont Federation High School in Oakland.  The first few days we watched our C.T. -Classroom Teacher.  The last two days Melissa (my teaching partner) and I split the responsibility.  I taught my 45 minute lesson on Wednesday, yesterday, and will teach my third lesson in an hour.  This morning Melissa started with our first class.  We teach after our C.T.  While we are not teaching, we try to circulate through the classroom to help students while they are working.  

All of the students have their own lives, stories, and issues.  I can tell when they walk in what type of day they are having.  I noticed that one of my students wasn’t having a great day.  I sat next to Jeff while he was supposed to be working with Javier.  Chris had his head down.  I checked Javier’s work.  It was well done.  I asked Jeff what he thought about it.  He lifted his head and looked at me.  His eyes were sad and vacant.  I knew these eyes. After asking a few questions, I found out he had a rough night.  His older brother beat him up. Jeff didn’t sleep in his bed last night and hadn’t had anything to eat.  

By the end of the period, he worked on a few problems.  I wrote his work for him.  His writing hand was swollen and cut up.  I noticed he had to use two hands to write initially, so I asked if I could help and he let me.  He’s very smart.  He has a lot going for him.  I can see success for him.  I hope he will too.

Now I need to prepare myself for the next class.  Writing this is helping me to release the emotions so I can be clear and open for my new group of students.  I don’t know what I will find or who will need more help or attention.  I will be ready to guide the next group.

Second Week in Bay Area

North Beach

I left San Diego on May 31st.  I felt I was up against the clock the last few days.  The miracle was getting everything I needed to keep into the POD.  Somethings had to stay behind.  

I was nothing less than exhausted after weeks of packing, days of loading the POD, and all the details associated with a move.  Thankfully I wouldn’t have to drive my Passat up to San Francisco.  That job was Pauly’s.  I picked him up from the airport after taking a quick shower, changing, and leaving my now former home in Chula Vista.  We rolled up to meet Sharlene and she followed us to Clay’s house for a farewell party.  The conversation and food were refreshing.  We said goodbye to friends and drove off into the sunset.  There was an overnight diversion in LA.  Paul’s friend is the executive Chef at the Edison there.  Talk about swanky!  The food was fantastic… but I was ready to crash for sure.

Paul and I headed up the 5 around 1pm and after a long drive listening to music and laughing, we strolled in to San Francisco around 7pm.  My car was riding around The City.  It was official.

I’ve been staying at my cousin/brother Lewis’ house in Berkeley.  He and his family have been super.  The East Bay is cool and sweet.  Their house is ‘hella’ cool.  (yeah, I said hella)  It is quite strange to be without my bed, my things, my life.  It’s a mental trip… but there’s something about not knowing where I will land that’s a bit un-nerving.  It’s been a good lesson in understanding what’s most important in my life.  My kids, my career, my family, my closest friends. 

Loading that POD was so difficult.  I had to decide which of my material things made the cut.  I couldn’t help but think of the pioneer women that moved from the East Coast to the Frontier.  I guess most people just get the right size truck, pod, etc., but I’m on a tight budget.  I loaded my precious items and sold or donated the rest.  Now I’m strolling around without my jewelry (in storage), my shoes (same fate), my life.  I’m a turtle without a shell.  Naked.  But it’s liberating somehow.  And every so often, I curl up fetal position, and remember what matters to me most.

This move I’ve shed those things that didn’t fit.  That wouldn’t fit.  And I’m open and ready for what’s new and good.  This career means that much to me.  I long to see the faces that will be my students, shake their hands, and welcome them into my life.  My hope is that my own kids will see that this sacrifice was worth all the pain and change and struggle.  That they learn from this move how important it is to follow your heart while your feet walk through the rough and rocky road.